I just got back from a one-week hiatus to a beautiful gap of nothingness I like to call “Michigan.” For those who don’t know me too well, I don’t like manual labor, and I hate watching TV. However, all there is to do in Michigan is to weed my grandpa’s garden (picture right) and watch ‘Wheel of Fortune’ (no picture available). As a result, that garden was a work of art when I left and I finally understand how ‘Wheel’ is played.
I shouldn’t be so harsh on Michigan. You can also eat, drink cheap beer, and shop at deserted malls almost all day long. I think I ate several meals composed entirely of donuts, ding dongs, and/or ice cream. In the above picture, I swear I see a double chin forming. I didn’t get fat anywhere else, but I certainly developed a paranoia about that. By near week’s end, I thought I lost my adam’s apple. This was also the first time I’ve been 21 when I visited Michigan. Hence, I had a celebratory Keystone Light with my grandfather to signal a new era. To be frank, Keystone sucks. It’s literally depressing to drink. It starts off good, then something goes horribly awry after swallowing it. However, it didn’t stop me from sitting down with a Keystone in hand, and a remote in the other yelling, “Bankrupt, sucka!” throughout ‘Wheel of Fortune’ and ‘Jeopardy.’ In retrospect, this was probably not one of my more respectable trips to Detroit.
You better not diss Michigan. With warm summers, cool winters, and endless lakes, it beats Arizona anyday. My best memories are from Michigan.
FREAK!
there’s a place called Michican?
For the record, I wouldn’t define a Michigan winter as “cool” and a summer as “warm.” As far as I can remember, the last summer I spent in Michigan was so hot and humid that sitting on leather furniture was impossible.
You have some crappy memories dude, unless I’m missing out on some fun stash they have hidden away there.
You’re just a person that likes to makes things more dramatic than they really are. Yea, it gets humid, but that’s what the lakes are for. I don’t have crappy memories…seeing as how I’ve gone there about 2 times each year since I was a week old. Besides, Michigan’s weather is way better than Arizona’s in my opinion.
The strange thing about Keystone Light is that it sucks, and I know it sucks, but it kind of grows on you. I think Michigan is like cheap beer in that way.
No, no… I think I would describe Michigan the way I describe Tucson: like slime. It grows on you very slowly and disgustingly, even though you never wanted it to. Damn the Midwest! And damn UA! Did they know they put it in Tucson? What the hell where they thinking?!
Nikki, hearing your story makes me cry for you. Tucson shouldn’t exist.
Hey Greg…I’m origianlly from Michigan living in Texas now. However, you have a HUGE Adam’s apple. Even if ya did gain weight, I don’t think it would ever be hidden. Man, it’s huge…very cool though.