As I mentioned before, I am an ESL instructor for these Hispanic guys, and we always have good times. Last night was no exception. While they still tease me over the whole “pequeno incident, yesterday they had a few doggone crazy moments themselves.
The teacher in the class was holding up flash cards of people doing various things, and then the students would respond with “He is doing ______” or “We are doing _____” etc, etc. She held up a girl doing Pilates or some exercise, and then a guy at my table yells out, “She es dooeng, uh, she is doing her exorcist.”
Later on in the flash cards, our teacher holds up one of a guy in a kilt with knee high socks and one leg in the air. I didn’t have a clue what she was trying to teach, and I started laughing because it was so ridiculous. Everyone looked confused in the class. She then blurted out, “Dancing, he is dancing…see?” And then the teacher started to dance.
Another flash card had a Hispanic fellow on it, and she asked, “Where is he from?” The always-eager Alberto yells “MEXICAN!” with a passion one rarely hears races called out.
At another moment, I was teaching a brand new student (no English experience) how to pronounce words. He kept put a “d” sound in front of every work that started with “r”. So, when I was asking him to pronounce “raining”, he would say, “draining.” I would repeat, “No, RRRRRRRaining”. Then he would say, “DRRRRRRaining”. We went on for several minutes of “raining” vs. “draining”. I would write out the word “draining” and then cross out the “d” and say “No d!” All of this was to no end, because after a minute and a half of “raining, draining, raining, draining” the class got quiet and just watched us interact. I gave up and as he said, “DDDDRRRRAAAINING” I said, “Muy bien, let’s go on.”
Hola, me llamo Esteban, y tu? Muy bien. Cuando es tu cumpleanos?
I can relate. I had a guy who called me at work last night. I could barely understand him because of his spanish accent, and he could barely understand me because of my accent. I found myself doing bi-lingual hand gestures to the phone like an idiot before giving up and having him call the store office manager.
Bonjour, je m’appelle Sonath. Je suis bien. Et vous? Quelle est la date de ton anniversaire?
che bella! come stan?
Jak są wy? jestem Shiz. kocham Vodka.
Je n?aime pas la vodka. Je pr馨re le vin rouge. Ce go?agnifique! Polish Princess est magnifique aussi…quand elle boit la vodka!
Fo’ sheezy my neezy keep my arms so greasy
Can’t leave chimps alone the game needs me
Haters want me clapped and chromed – it ain’t easy.
Ah żaden, młodki Francuz, Polska Księżna nie jest tak wspaniały. Ona jest średnia i brudny i chłopcy nie lubi jej. Ona je przyjemnych chłopcla obadu, z wielu gorącymi psami i macaroni i ser. Ona także kradnie ich pizzę i donuts. Nie zapomina vodka!
Tengo un gato en mis pantalones
Brad are you a Mexican or a Mexicant?
Here’s one that’s always helped me sound suave’ with the ladies:
Todos empleados tienen que lavarse los manos antes de volver a trabajo.
Nothing like a little Latin flavor.
Todas las chicas en Mexico gusta Sonath!