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I’m Sick and Delirious
I had my daily dosage+ on DayQuil today. The side effects hit me in my Letterform class. I sat through an entire class, and I swear about four or five times someone in my group said, “What are you talking about?” or “I can’t hear you” (because I am mostly deaf). Someone was talking about their favorite movies, and I said, “Yeah, I carved pumpkins this weekend.” The guy was like, “Well that was random.” I guess I was thinking in my head:
“Donnie Darko was a movie. I liked that movie. I watched it a couple times. But I didn’t understand it the first time because I was carving pumpkins. Oh yeah, I carved pumpkins this weekend, better tell the table because this is relevant.”
It made sense to me, but he just stared at me and said, “Well I watched a movie while sitting on the couch.” The whole table had a good chuckle, I just gripped my Exacto knife and waited for a good moment to bury it deep inside his ribs. Yeah, you laugh now, but you wait. The moment you turn to sharpen that pencil, I’ll be there. When you go to your mailbox, I’ll be hiding behind that red metal flag. When you pour that bowl of cereal, I’ll be the toy that pops and and and *BAM YOU’RE DEAD!*
Waiting…patiently…stroking the cool aluminum exacto knife handle…waiting…thinking…yeah, you just wait…
Or maybe it should be *SHIV YOU’RE DEAD!* I can’t decide which sounds better. I will think it over. I have time.